This might be a little long and you might want to beat up on me. I have a daughter who turns 4 in May. I have been divorced or separated for most of her life. Truth is I am an alcoholic. I have been around my daughter the next day hungover and I might lay around or nap on the days I go see her, for the record it is at her mom's house and she is there. This is when she is watching TV or something but I do play with her alot) I would say I am a good dad when I am with her and think she loves me alot. Well as of October I have tried to stay sober and been making meetings. I have had 2-3 binges in there since October probably 4 weeks of drinking. Well 3 weeks ago I was hungover and told not to visit. I have 7 days sober not that the ex has asked but she will not let me spendtime with my daughter. I saw her on a Wednesday night during a 3 week period. The mom said she/ they need space. I wanted to get our opinion on what is best for my daughter and me seeing her or staying away for awhile. I think she might feel as if it might be her fault as to why I do not come around. Thank you for listening.

7 days is not long at all. It sounds like your exwife has gone through this before with you being sober and then not of course she is going to be learly given your history. I think you need to respect your exwife on this issue for now. Make sure you stay clean and sober. Attend meetings daily! Ask your exwife if you can call weekly. Also ask if you can send your daughter cards and letters. Being a good dad entails more then playing with your daughter. If you daughter ask let her know you were sick because that is in fact what you are. You are going to have to give them lots and lots of time. Trust does not come over night. Good luck.

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mum4boys aka Heidi married to my best friend John and mum to our 5 kids: Johnny (19), James (18), Levi (12), Liam (11) and Maggie (3)
GOOD moms let their kids lick the beaters. GREAT moms turn off the mixer first
http://harriedmumof5.blogspot.com/

Totally agree with Heidi. You can be a good dad with calls and letters and explaining that you have been sick.
My father was an alcoholic. Sober for a lot of years now, thank goodness. And I didn't know him very well when I was young at all, and I'd often hear during long absences that he "had been sick". I never felt like he stayed away because of me.
The good thing is that you recognize your problem. Your ex is doing the right thing I think, to protect your daughter while things are still uncertain with you. The road to sobriety is long and takes a lot of work, and as you know, you often fall back, especially initially. It's something that takes dedication and practice, really, and you have to become familiar and comfortable with being sober. You have to make this a priority in your life right now, any recovery needs to be, it can't be an afterthought. And hopefully once you've proven that you are recovering you will be able to ask for more face-to-face time with your daughter.
Good luck!

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Heather, Wife to Shaun since July 20th, 2002, Mom to Elijah (born Sept. 10, 2003), Kaine (born Feb. 9, 2006).

Well thanks for some advice. It is not what I wanted to hear. I do not think it is good for my daughter. My daughter does not recall seeing me drunk and I have not beeen that way around her in a long time. She might of been 1&1/2 the last time I was drunk around her but there was other family around. Yeah I have been to rehabs and meetings for awhile. I actually quit my last binge last Monday and have been to meetings since.

I do not see how it is good for me just to quit coming around her but obviously thats why I came here to get a womans opinion. I do not know how long she is going to want space. Kinda pisses me off to be honest since I have a right to see her. If things dont change in a few weeks and the mom still wants to keep it this way I will take a stand. I may seek counseling advice on the matter as well and also ask what they think is best on the matter.

Thanks again until then I will hang in there and try and do the best I can.